From the age of 18 I worked professionally as an actress, singer and dancer, in an industry I’d dreamed of since I went to my first ballet class at 4 years old. I had some huge successes on the West End stage and on TV, but despite the magical highs, it was also an industry full of uncertainty, judgment and deep lows, leaving me with a feeling of never ‘enough’. I’d also suffered from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) for most of my life, which is greatly effected by stress. The two came hand in hand.
I started to support myself with a holistic lifestyle which began with a change in diet and then went on to incorporate Yoga and mindfulness, so much so that at the age of 35, just after I’d gotten married, I went to India for a month and trained to be a Yoga Teacher. This changed my life. Yoga and healthy, holistic, living became my new passion and I started teaching and mentoring women to help them turn their lives around. It felt great.
Then in 2017, my daughter was born. Motherhood hit me like a high-speed train. I lost every part of me that I had come to love. I experienced post-birth trauma (my daughter didn't take her first breath and spent her first 2 weeks in NICU). Subsequently I suffered from PTSD. I also had Postnatal Depression and Postnatal Anxiety all mixed in with intense sleep-deprivation for 2.5 years. I lost my identity, I felt alone and isolated. I felt a lot of anger. Then past traumas resurfaced and I questioned everything I knew and was. I became incredibly judgemental towards myself and others. It wasn't the cherry on top of my previously 'perfect' life.
Aside from my daughter, the only thing that kept me alive was my healthy diet and my holistic lifestyle tools, however I wasn’t able to use them the way I used to. Then one day I cracked - I hit absolute rock bottom and I knew at that point something had to change. There were two options - end it all, or start prioritising myself, start processing and healing and nurturing myself the same way I was nurturing my daughter. So that’s the path I took. I started a deep healing journey using all the tools I had learned over the years (including Yoga, meditation, dance) and gained some new ones. I reclaimed myself. I re-birthed myself. I became the woman and mother I so desperately wanted to be and now I am in awe of the growth and beauty of motherhood. Now it has become my mission to support other mothers to heal, grow and rebirth themselves on their motherhood journey.
